Conflict can feel restrictive and painful, but if approached appropriately, can lead to great change. Deconstructing conflict requires us to look back to our origins as humans, to understand how we are innately wired. Bess De Boer helps us understand how to process our emotions in these stressful moments and move through conflict towards connection.

Evolutionary psychology tells us that we are hard-wired FIGHT or FLIGHT – Our basic instinct to protect ourselves is automatic and unconscious.

Presented with the fear conflict threatens, our body shuts down our ability to reason and make complex decisions, limits our capacity to see multiple perspectives, and we become trapped in the singular narrative, in order to feel safe; “I’m right.  You’re Wrong.”

Then follows a series of instinctive reactions, driven by the need to ensure our safety: We close our heart, our perception narrows, and our memory fails.

The antidote to this primitive reflex is to establish human connection by giving each person the space to tell our story. When our human experience is heard and received, we instinctively feel safe.

To achieve this, we need to begin the difficult conversation with curiosity and ask open-ended questions about the other’s experience, rather than resistance to their side of the story. Bess will explore these concepts and how they relate to our work and personal lives.


During the next 3 weeks, you will learn:

  • What conflict is, how it impacts us, and how to move through it with grace
  • The biological and psychological processes happening during conflict
  • Pivotal steps towards connecting with the one on the other side of our conflict
  • How to not avoid conflict, but lean in.
  • The benefit of approaching difficult conversations as if you know nothing   
  • The importance of keeping quiet during conflict

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    Tanya Clark


    Tanya Clark is an entrepreneur, philanthropist, and visionary who has always been motivated by the desire to create profound positive change.

    Tanya’s entrepreneurial pursuits have consistently focused on health and well-being and has formed health and wellness companies across the globe. The results of the care she provided were profound changes in people’s confidence, personal image, and overall happiness.

    Tanya became aware of our modern metropolitan pace and the elevated stress levels in friends, colleagues, and commuters. With her past business pursuits focusing on inner and outer beauty, organic health and nutrition, she knew that people needed more. It was then that her vision was clear.

    The result is TLConnection Inc., highly curated live virtual programs that have been styled and designed to help employees deepen their connection to themself, their families, and their co-workers, resulting in better health, better performance and heightened enjoyment of their overall lives.


    Bob Kaiser, Frank Venegas, Tanya Clark
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